(((FreeBird))) - welcome to SR!!!
This is a great place where people "get" us. I'm a recovering crack addict, but I've found that it isn't so much what we abuse, there are many similarities.
You're going through some rough stuff, but I promise...choosing recovery vs. continuing to drink is a far better path. I also agree that if you call the AA hotline for your area, there's a good chance that someone will give you a ride. When we've had enough, when we want recovery more than anything else, we find a way to get it. Even if you can't get to meetings, hang around here. Lots of ES&H (experience, strength, and hope) here.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy