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In trouble, looking for words of encourgment, Day 1

Old 05-25-2011, 07:40 PM
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In trouble, looking for words of encourgment, Day 1

Day 1. I'm 41 years old and quit drinking a couple times due to court orders, once for 45 days and another for 115 days. Now I want to quit cause I want too.

I had an incident that I am not all happy about and now facing possible jail time. I am scared, lonely and now back to square 1 after screwing myself by being that guy who likes to party, drink and drive and attract girlfriends that like to party as well. However, I end up paying the price.

Every time I get a head, I end up getting in trouble putting myself back 4 or 5 steps.

I am a business owner which allows me to get away with hungover Mondays and get out early on Fridays. Come in when I want and leave when I want. The problem is, I take advantage of it and I stunt the business from growing to the next level and its not fair to my business partner.

I really haven't had a drivers license in the last 20 years but I drove anyway, now I'm facing some serous charges in regards to driving plus the incident of a DV with my now ex girlfriend. I will swear of my parents grave I never touched her, but I busted a door and since there was property damage they had to take me in.

I go to court tomorrow, again, and something has to change, I have to change the root of my problems and that is drinking, drinking beer and going out 4 to 5 nights a week.

I am going to give this a solid effort, just cant go to AA meetings due to my driving situation. Have to sell the car to the brother cause the state wont even title or register me. My brother will buy and give me the cash for my court and layer expenses.

Looking for encouraging words and a reason to revisit this forum.

Thanks for listening.
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Old 05-25-2011, 07:47 PM
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Sounds like you've made a good decision to quit drinking, and you'll find lots of support here on SR, FreeBird. Seems you have all the reasons you need to get whatever help you can.

I think AA members are willing to give rides to people who can't drive. You might try calling them to find out.

It may feel hopeless right now, but there is plenty of light at the end of the tunnel.
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Old 05-25-2011, 08:01 PM
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Originally Posted by FreeBird1 View Post

I have to change the root of my problems and that is drinking, drinking beer and going out 4 to 5 nights a week.

cant go to AA meetings due to my driving situation.
If the root of your problems is drinking, then stop drinking!! Simple!! If you aren't able to quit, then maybe the root of your problem is actually alcoholism... And there is a solution... You can find a solution in AA...

Oh, you won't be the first person in AA who's lost their drivers license, LOL... There is absolutely no reason why you can't find a ride, there are many members who want to give you a ride... they want to!! It helps us stay sober to help you get sober!!

Call your local AA hotline...

Welcome to SR... Keep posting.
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Old 05-25-2011, 08:05 PM
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You've done a wonderful first step of coming here.

I drive a lot of people to meetings and enjoy my time in the car with other people in recovery. It's some of our best times.

Welcome to SR, I'm so glad you're here.
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Old 05-25-2011, 08:06 PM
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(((FreeBird))) - welcome to SR!!!

This is a great place where people "get" us. I'm a recovering crack addict, but I've found that it isn't so much what we abuse, there are many similarities.

You're going through some rough stuff, but I promise...choosing recovery vs. continuing to drink is a far better path. I also agree that if you call the AA hotline for your area, there's a good chance that someone will give you a ride. When we've had enough, when we want recovery more than anything else, we find a way to get it. Even if you can't get to meetings, hang around here. Lots of ES&H (experience, strength, and hope) here.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy
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Old 05-25-2011, 08:18 PM
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Thanks all, its going to be a total change in behavior, friends, places and choices.
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Old 05-25-2011, 08:29 PM
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(((FreeBird))) - yes it is, but I promise you, it's well worth it.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy
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Old 05-25-2011, 08:35 PM
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I completely changed my life FreeBird - it wasn't easy but I'm glad every day I did it.

Good luck tomorrow - & I know you'll find a lot of support here

D
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Old 05-25-2011, 08:42 PM
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Hang in there Freebird and good luck tomorrow in court.
I knew I had to quit drinking for good because alcohol always created problems and there were always consequences when we mixed company. It wasn't fun anymore. There was always; shame, embarrassment, bruises, scratches, hangovers, etc the following day. You can quit.
You can do this. "One day at a time." Just decide that you will not drink today and just live in that day. Then repeat again for the next day. Do not think about, not drinking forever. Before you know it, months past then almost two years for me. So glad my bringe drinking days are over. I don't even miss it.
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Old 05-26-2011, 07:57 AM
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Hey Freebird I totally know where your comin from. I am 39 and first time wanting to get sober myself. I am on day 9 right now and I want to drink and not its a tug a war.

But , I just got back from court where I go to make a payment once a month for my last dui, which would be my third in my life. This last one I still never got my license back form number 2.

I also got rid of my car for money so far this thing has cost about 8k plus 20days in county jail 2 years of radom testing, and all my energy.

So I am starting over at my agek is scary but I also have never been sober so two battles, so I just wish you the best and I hope both of us can overcome these f*** in awful patterns.

And just a story of this morning on the way to court I ride my bike 6 miles there and 6 back , but I got into the habit o riding at least 4 times a week. I used to live in Colorado and also San Fran were we rode everywhere. Anyway sorry got sidetracked. I came to a rail crossing where the train was completly stopped and I asked a cop if I could go around But I could not because some tried to go through the lights and got hit. He also told me as he helped to pull him from the car it wreeked of booze. Were still here that guy I dont think will be.

Lets make the best of it !!!!!!!!


Peace, Dylan
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Old 05-26-2011, 08:07 AM
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Hi there and welcome! This place is wonderful and I hope you keep coming back! Sounds like you've found your bottom? AA is an option, almost every meeting I go to there is an announcment that someone needs a ride and that person is always taken care of. I have a great respect for these people because they are willing to do whatever it takes and put their pride aside to recover. Just giving you the point of view of the person giving the rides. You can do this!!!! Stick around and read, I love this place.
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Old 05-26-2011, 08:54 AM
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I'm glad you have made the decision to stop drinking and to change your life.
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Old 05-26-2011, 09:27 AM
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Hi, Freebird! You came to the right place to find words of encouragement. There is lots of support here!
I can relate to the business thing...you mentioned that as a business owner you can get away with being hungover on Mondays and leaving early on Fridays, which is stunting the growth of your business. While I've not worked for myself, I have a career that involves a fair amount of independence and I've missed more days at the last few jobs than I care to admit and it has stunted the growth and blossoming of my career.

The great news is that you recognize the role drinking has played in where you are in life! And as for the damage that you are dealing with from your DUI, don't let that keep you from AA. People in the program will give you rides anytime! Seriously! And you aren't burdening anyone by asking! The most painful part of the DUI may be the sentencing, depending on where you live.

Believe it or not, I was a DUI court prosecutor until very recently (and was sometimes a bit hungover while there). I had (and continue to have) huge admiration for the people who took their DUI experience as a springboard for life change. I've seen lots of people make incredible changes because of DUIs in the past few years.

You can do this! Change can be tough (I am back to the umpteenth day 2), but getting through the tough stuff seems to be what makes people blossom in amazing ways!
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Old 05-26-2011, 09:34 AM
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Welcome! If you want to quit drinking this is a good place to hang out.
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Old 05-26-2011, 09:38 AM
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Welcome, Freebird - How was court today? I'm glad you found this forum and are ready for some changes. We'll support you all the way, so keep reading and posting.

It's scary. It feels strange at first to be sober. It's like learning to play an instrument - practice, practice, practice. Making that choice to stay sober over and over again exercises a new muscle in our brain. We have to start with the right notes before we can play a great song. But it will come if we keep at it.

Keep going - you can do this!:ghug3
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Old 05-26-2011, 09:38 AM
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Freebird..you said it yourself. You didn't manage to quit because you didn't want to, despite all the consequences. Same for me. It's a different feeling, waking up and knowing you WANT to quit, it makes all the difference. That kind of mental approach will help you with the work you have ahead, as well as dealing with the cr*p that you will have to deal with to get this all straight. You can do this.

I wish you luck and strength in your new journey.
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Old 05-26-2011, 09:43 AM
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Hey FreeBird! Man, that's a tough story! All I can say is stop here often, read everything here. Many others here have had similar experiences. Look at the long term bright side, by doing this, you are saving your life! Hang in there!
...Mike
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Old 05-26-2011, 10:41 AM
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The world has not ended - even though it may feel like it has right now.

I don't know what state you're writing from, but there are options that may be available for you.

On Fridays I participate in a "Join Us" speaker's forum at an inpatient facility. One of the things we do there is try to get them signed up for "Bridging the Gap." It's where they can fill out their name, number, and address and within 24 hours someone from the district office will give them a call back and find them a way to a meeting. Once you make it to a meeting I recommend checking buslines and ride possibilities. I'm always giving people rides home. I figure, if they can make it there, I can at least help them home. Alcoholics Anonymous :

I can assure you one thing. You are not the first to face these issues and you won't be the last.

Peace
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Old 05-26-2011, 11:13 AM
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Welcome to the family FreeBird!

It sounds like you have had enough of living at 50% and are ready to see just how amazing life can be when you let go.

We are all here as one big family with the goal of living life the way it was meant to be.

Glad you found us
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Old 05-26-2011, 11:34 AM
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Originally Posted by FreeBird1 View Post
I have to change the root of my problems and that is drinking, drinking beer and going out 4 to 5 nights a week.
Hi Freebird-

I did a few days of jailtime for my drinking too.

I quoted your words above b/c it may be better for you to look at you as the root of your problems.

Sure, the alcohol and drinking are bad and need to be stopped, but I jumped light years ahead in my recovery when I realized I was my own problem the whole time.

Good luck at your court date.

Kjell~
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