Yep. That dude is effed up. He is doing the reverse blame-shifting trick, trying to put his problems on you... he probably hates himself. You can't help him with that. I sooo hope you get sole custody of your kids. Yikes. You most definitely needed other people to hear about this conversation, so they could give their perspective. He's messed up. You are not, but you are letting yourself be hurt, which is part of the co-dependent thing, right? Meh. Ignore him.