The lengths of addiction
Best to get everyone up to speed. I don't really want to tell this story but I know I need to get this off my chest.
Several weeks ago, I went through a weekend preparing to file divorce due to AW's drinking. She had a "good" talk about her rock bottom and how she's going to get help, etc.
She slipped once but got back to a non-drinking state. Things have been really peaceful. She's been on anti-depressants, anti-drinking pills and seeing an addiction therapist weekly. We've been having very open discussions about her drinking which I've never had with her before. She's been processing things very well and in general, I really believed things were normal.
There were a few times when I thought she was acting a bit odd but nothing at all like she was drinking. It was either Sunday or Monday night and she was in her office and I saw her quietly put something away in a storage bin. I did not make a big deal. I acted like I never saw anything but my alarms went off. I knew something was up. Tonight she is out at an art class. I'm here alone with the boy. I gave him a bath and sat him down for a little Toy Story time before reading, etc. I decided to check out the storage bin real quick.
I found a massive stash of used up coke items. Baggies out the wazoo. Empty. There were larger jars, razor blades, plates, straws, credit cards, cd covers, etc. Everything a cokehead would have. I didn't find any actual drugs but the whole things was dusted and heavily used.
So there you have it. The AW signed up for an addiction therapist to deal with her drinking. She's taking pills depression. All of this BS talk and I have to find this other addiction of hers. I always suspected something was up. Massive credit card debt in 1 year. Not on my cards. Hers. Massive weight loss. Sinus problems. Everything points to what I found.
She also managed to hide my video card sometime ago. I happened to order a backup some time ago. It was put to use tonight. Not much good other than documentation purposes. Gah!
The boys 2 year birthday is in a few weeks. Our anniversary is in a few weeks. I need to get me and the boy away from her. I need to file a divorce but once again, I'm stuck here alone and feeling like I can't do anything.
Guess I could use some support and encouragement.
Damn!