Early on in our marriage, when she was capable of doing things on her own, she moved in with us. She wasn't taking the best care of herself and lived far enough away that whenever we couldn't get in touch with her (Her phone on vibrate) we'd rush out via taxi (Expensive) only to see she was asleep or watching TV or doing something...
In the beginning she was 'normal'. However, there is some Japanese culture involved. Most aging people have the eldest son take care of them. Old folks homes are almost non-existent. The ones we found were at a price where we could buy our own home and hire a 24 hour nurse. Many families take care of their older family members. However, we're a bit unique in that we need both our salaries to stay above water. My MIL decided this was no excuse and put all the pressure on my wife. "Why are you home late on days you have an early shift?" My wife was going to the gym to relieve stress...something my MIL thought was selfish as she should be home cooking for her. When my father-in-law died (He was a vegetable and in the hospital under 24hour care.) my mother-in-law never visited. Too much stress...but she put everything on my wife. So, naturally, when he died, she said "I'm not sure I can handle the train ride. I can't go." My wife dealt with all the arrangements. She got cussed out by my MIL's best friend for not doing more (There wasn't more that could be done, not on the day he died.)
All these things just got worse and worse. When daycare comes to pick her up, she's a happy camper. She comes home happy. But by dinner time, she's probably doing something she shouldn't be. She was put on Paxil for a while but it gave her hallucinations. Doctors tried other meds and they did nothing (In their opinions). If she's suffering from depression, I'd be happy to add another pill to her cocktail of pills.
Today, my wife came home sick. I'm sure it was whatever feels she had lingering from yesterday. My mother-in-law decided she would walk around her room (Something she CAN'T DO because she doesn't exercise and will end up falling...she has to have one of us to watch over her.) She ended up falling and almost cracking her skull open. She could've easily broken her glasses, teeth or an array of bones...all which cost money to fix. My wife heard the thud and asked "Why...of all days you decide to walk, why today, why when I'm sick, why when I'm in bed." Of course I was the one picking her up and putting her back in bed.
