You're comparing your insides to others outsides. It doesn't work, ever.
And we all handle things differently.
Here's how I work: When something has to be done, and I know it's what has to be done, I do it. I do it hells bells, full throttle, no looking back. That's how I approached my divorce once I knew it had to happen. I didn't allow myself what you're doing -- feeling. I focused on moving the process forward.
Once it was done, I opened the compartment of Feelings and started dealing with them.
I don't really recommend it -- it worked very well for me, and allowed me to make use of the skill of compartmentalizing that I've pretty much perfected over the past 20 years. But the feelings will have to be dealt with sooner or later.
Just remember to not blame yourself for leaving. Or for your feelings. And I've had the same thought -- I'll bury him before he stops drinking.
