I understand where you are coming from. I look back on the seven years I was with my XABF and remember all the good times. The fun we used to have. Even the little things, like late night, random drives just because we could. The road trips and the fun we had hanging out with friends. then I see him now, slumped on the couch, all the color out of him when he used to be so vibrant, next to a half consumed bottle of liquor. And I wonder, where did my soulmate go? This guy looks like him, but he's not him at all. Sometimes it honestly feels like he died.