New to this
I am currently involved with a heroin addict. I knew him many years ago and we reconnected recently, about four months ago. He told me he was in recovery (at the time he was doing methadone maintenance). I have been supportive to his recovery and in the last few months we have grown very close. We talk everyday and see each other as much as we can. He is a very smart, funny, sensitive, sweet and caring man. When we met up again, I was (and still am) going through my own life transition (divorce and starting over etc) and he has been so supportive of that. Well the clinic he was going to tapered him off methadone way to quickly and he started having horrible withdrawals and started using again. He told me right away, and we both cried together about it. He really wants help and to quit. He went to detox last week and came out feeling great, but within a few days, he was feeling awful again, and again used. He feels deeply ashamed of the control the drug has over him and he seems to have a strong desire to no longer let it control his life. Now he was been trying to wean himself down of the dope, only using every other day and much less than what he used to use. I told him I'd be supportive of however he chooses to quit, as long as he does in fact quit. I also told him that if he goes back to regular drug use without the intention of quitting, that I can no longer be a part of his life. Neither one of us really wants this, as we do have an amazing emotional and physical connection. We've even exchanged I love you's. My question is how do I do this? I feel very conflicted because I love being with him and spending time with him, but it kills me to see him suffering the way he is. He hated detox and does not want to do inpatient rehab, although next week he is starting an outpatient program that he will attend three hours a day, five days a week. What can I do to support/encourage him without seeming naggy and ending up pushing him away? And am I enabling him in any way? This is all very new to me as I have never had any addicts in my family or amongst my friends.