Only you can decide if and when you can't do it. Early recovery can be extremely tough on loved ones. There are some meetings where child care is available. Why don't you try and call the Alanon contact number in your city and tell them your problems about child care. On line meetings do help but I've found that there is nothing like a face to face meeting. I'm sure that your husband is going to a lot of meeting but maybe you could find some for you that don't coincide with his....Are there any moms around you that you could switch out child care with?
I understand about the bitterness. Alanon has helped me to let go of my bitterness but it took an earnest effort on my part and diligently working a program. It definitely can be done.
No matter what you decide please know that it is right for you. No one has been in your shoes and no one will know when you have had enough.
Warm thoughts....