Hmmm, I was also a single mom, pregnant with my 2nd child with an alcoholic, first child with non-alcoholic husband and divorced. In the end, I did not marry my 2nd child's father and I'm glad I didn't. I too wanted a perfect family. Sometimes I think that the reason I wanted this perfect family so badly is because my family was messed up when I was growing up. I wanted the one thing I could never have and I wanted to give it to my children. But alas it was not meant to be so far. But I have not given up hope. It could still happen.
An eye opener for me was seeing the effect my relationship with ABF had on my first child. She was about 2 1/2 when ABF came into our lives. The alcoholism only progressed and the battles got worse and I believe even though I stayed until our daughter was 2 1/2, it was affecting both my children negatively. Even after he got sober.
I had to give up the "dream of a perfect family" because honestly the dream never existed in real life. It was only in my head.
I wish you all the strength and happiness in the world. You will make the right decision for you when the time comes. Until then, take care of you and those little ones.
Peace,
Jen