Here's an odd connection for you...
I love a wide variety of music for sure, but I have this crazy aversion to watching people sing. From happy go lucky peeps singing karaoke or Happy Birthday to professionals singing their hearts out before the Super Bowl, my skin crawls. Any false note is gut churning for me to watch. Can I hear yet it, sure no problem, but watch them perform, no way at all. I wiggle and squirm and cover my eyes. I want to burst from my seat and run away. All I want is to end what I perceive as the most embarrassing thing ever. I feel every ounce of their shame and regret and terror and heartbreak, and yet in watching some people sing with reckless abandon not caring if they hit the notes or not (picture American Idol auditions), I have to wonder what am I so worked up about if they aren't?? Clearly they are doing their thing, and I'm there suffering for nothing.
I have come to believe that all this taking of someone's perceived shame is all from my upbringing where one of the greatest sins in the eyes of my family was to make an a** of oneself. Heaven forbid someone think you a boob.
I thought it was a strength at times because the giant fear of not embarrassing myself has led to some triumphs of will on my part (swim competitions, spelling bees, even regional theater), but when I take on the shame of others not out of sympathy but out of habit, that's pathological.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I entirely understand how his actions feel entirely reflected upon you. The lies he's telling and the grandiose way he's going about it, just feel like a big spotlight on you, but that is all in your perception. You've already received validation from others that his behavior is garnering horror at him and sympathy for you so whatever it takes to get through these feelings and let this go, do it. It's not your shame to carry. He's the a** even if you're the one getting pooped on.
Hugs,
Alice