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It should be "ILLEGAL"...

Old 05-15-2011, 10:13 PM
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It should be "ILLEGAL"...

First I thought it should be illegal for A's to

have cell phones, now Im adding facebook to the list..

OMG..After last week episode, of him calling alot of my friends and customers.

He plants his ass in front of facebook and writes
a lovely saying about me.

"Im no longer married to that Effing Bitch, she is a liar"

(and he hasnt even signed the divorce papers yet, said he wont until I tell him
who I am sleeping with and he wont because he still loves me" omg.....

Of course, he has my customers & friends on there also.

I literally dropped to my knees & cried & cried...

I shut his phone off, so he reverts to facebook, WHAT THE HELL IS NEXT?
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Old 05-15-2011, 10:23 PM
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Defriend him on facebook, and erase the message from your wall. You have 100% control over his ability to damage you via facebook, but you have not excercized it. If he has made friends with your friends on facebook, the damage is done.

I think no adult should have facebook without realizing what a terrible, intrusive, privacy invading thing it really is, unless you manage it right.
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Old 05-15-2011, 10:25 PM
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Sky writing??? Sorry...I'm trying to make you laugh.

As hard as it is, completely ignore him. Don't say a word. Don't justify a thing. You don't have to. People who know YOU...your friends and customers...will know the truth and see this for what it is. A little boy with a bruised ego throwing a major temper tantrum. He's making himself look like an absolute jacka$$. Rise above it. It speaks volumes about him and truly has no reflection on you whatsoever. It does however hurt.
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Old 05-15-2011, 10:27 PM
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He wrote it on his wall...

I have no control on that...

The damage is done, or should I say "the embrassment is done".

A close friend of mine called and told me that he wrote that.


One of my customers, also friend, said he made himself look like a BIGGER ass.

Especially now, when they know what he has been doing & has done.
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Old 05-15-2011, 10:31 PM
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Originally Posted by BobbyJ View Post
He wrote it on his wall...

I have no control on that...

The damage is done, or should I say "the embrassment is done".

A close friend of mine called and told me that he wrote that.

That would be his embarrassment.

Not yours.
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Old 05-15-2011, 10:33 PM
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Yep, it's all on him, not you. Delete and block him, and delete/block mutual friends too. then make your page 100% private(it's rather easy to do)
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Old 05-15-2011, 10:39 PM
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I have a fb, but dont use it...

He never did when he was living at home..All of a sudden..He's the Fb King..

Uggg...

Salior John, He has caused me EMBRASSMENT for years!!!
It is so hard to live in a small town, with all of his stupid stuff..
I have a very hard time with embrassment caused by him..
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Old 05-15-2011, 10:44 PM
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HIS actions and words are embarrassing. HE is embarrassing HIMSELF. As I posted above, it truly is a reflection of him and not of you. And the people who know and care about you will see this so fast your head would spin. The ones who don't, never were and never will be your friends anyway...so eff 'em.

Last edited by LaPinturaBella; 05-15-2011 at 10:44 PM. Reason: spelling...doh!
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Old 05-15-2011, 10:59 PM
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Originally Posted by BobbyJ View Post
He wrote it on his wall...

I have no control on that...

The damage is done, or should I say "the embrassment is done".

A close friend of mine called and told me that he wrote that.


One of my customers, also friend, said he made himself look like a BIGGER ass.

Especially now, when they know what he has been doing & has done.
Your customer/friend is right.
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Old 05-15-2011, 11:19 PM
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I unfriended my EX on FB/blocked/deleted any other on-line way my EXABF had to contact me.

Unfortunately, I had to get in contact with him last week regarding an insurance matter so I used a long-dormant hotmail account. Didn't want to but this had to be resolved. I was polite, to the point and never engaged and conversation about the breakup. I was told to "F" off, no help forthcoming. Great talk from an allegedly (according to him) mature 51 year old man.

He got his sister involved because I would not reply to any of his nasty emails. I showed her this one and others and her reaction was "Oh my."

Lo and behold, a call this evening and she is taking him to the insurance office tomorrow to sign off on the policy. (No license-he lost it for 2 DUI'S and unpaid fines) She asked if I wanted to go for coffee with her this week and I told her that it's best that we don't stay in touch any more - this whole incident has triggered me and I value my serenity more than a friendship with her. Tough move, as I really liked her, but I need to sever ALL contact to maintain my fragile hold on serenity.......
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Old 05-15-2011, 11:23 PM
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All I can say, after dealing w my AH, and after he is now sober as my RAH posting jealous, aggressive, bizarre things in reference to me on FB, AS WELL AS my MIL at one point taking it to me, in 5 consecutive posts one night....

If you do not respond, it just goes away. It definitely reflects on them, not you, and it is trashy and annoying to almost anyone reading it.

I have been on FB for years and I can tell you, those types of posts have me hiding people. I do not want to read some ridiculous trash about someone like that.

I can handle the more general venting people do, or even people expressing sadness or anger at life circumstances, but, People who write things like this are dismissed as angry, bitter and petty.

Do not engage. Do not engage. Do not engage.

As a matter of fact, I would even respond with indifference if anyone brings it up to you. "oh, really? whatevs..."

because its all his. His and only his, and he is illustrating it to everyone.

My RAH posted last week. I had posted an inspirational quote about trusting the universe or whatever, my old family friend and former co worker responded with a simple, "B66, you are the sh*t!"

RAH wrote, one SECOND later, "John Doe, you are the F*CK YOU"

People just posted on after no one paid it any mind, and he just comes across as flat out batsh*t crazy and being consumed by bitterness and fear.
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Old 05-16-2011, 05:49 AM
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You should be able to get a restraining order based on his harassment of you in that way. If you have a lawyer representing you in the divorce, let him or her know. If not, you can go to family court and get one. My suggestion is that you print out the comments AND be sure and have a friend who has read it on the actual site (it is possible to "fake" printouts of Facebook pages, so it's important to be able to prove that what you printed out was what was actually posted at the site--otherwise he could delete it and claim it was never actually posted).
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Old 05-16-2011, 06:09 AM
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Block him glad he is out of your life. He sounds like a very angry person.

Your real friends and customers that know you, won´t mind anything he says or take him seriously. Don't worry. And anyone who does, great, they will no longer be close to you nor deserve to be.

Its a great gift to know who you can rely on. Although, it hurts at first.
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Old 05-16-2011, 07:58 AM
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Originally Posted by BobbyJ View Post
One of my customers, also friend, said he made himself look like a BIGGER ass.

Especially now, when they know what he has been doing & has done.
He's proving to everyone that you're right to divorce him.

Added bonus - perhaps with his behavior now, some of the people who would have been pushing you to make things work will reconsider their position (because we all know how uninformed people love to butt into other people's lives, heck, we've been there ourselves - "I'm not codependent, but I play one in real life").


LexieCat brings up a good point about a restraining order, something worth looking into as well.
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Old 05-16-2011, 08:58 AM
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Definitely what Sailorjohn said. He's embarrassing himself, not you.

Funny FB story -- I blocked my AXH from my FB. Mother's Day, one of our mutual business acquaintances contacts me and asks if AXH has lost his mind, because his FB update says "Happy Mothers Day to all the great mothers out there, and to the mother of my children, may she burn in hell for eternity."

Stuff like that doesn't paint YOU in a bad light. It just makes people wonder if the poster is crazy. And when they come asking you, feel free to tell them.
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Old 05-16-2011, 09:06 AM
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Yeah, he seriously is making himself look like an a$$...think about if you saw one of YOUR FB friends writing that. My instant impression would be bad against that person, not his spouse!

Originally Posted by BobbyJ View Post
He wrote it on his wall...

I have no control on that...

The damage is done, or should I say "the embrassment is done".

A close friend of mine called and told me that he wrote that.


One of my customers, also friend, said he made himself look like a BIGGER ass.

Especially now, when they know what he has been doing & has done.
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Old 05-16-2011, 09:31 AM
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(((BobbyJ))) Please remember that people are looking at HIM because of HIS actions. He is making a paranoid, out-of-control, fool of himself, and the people that you both know can see it.

I do not know what the law requires if he refuses to sign the divorce papers, but for your sanity, I recommend having your lawyer talk to his lawyer or him directly.

Keep your head up, Bobby! You have done nothing to be ashamed of......!!!!
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Old 05-16-2011, 11:16 AM
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Hey Bobby, when a person offends someone else, especially in public, they are actually making a fool of themselves, not of you. Do you think people who read that are going to think "wow, I had no idea she was a bitch and a liar, now I'm not gonna talk to her anymore". Or do you think they are going to think "what kind of **** writes something like that about his wife on a facebook wall? That guy is really something". I seriously believe by doing that he's embarrasing himself, not you. I understand that it must be embarrasing to have someone trash you over fb, but seriously I can tell you if someone is talking about his wall post, they are not talking about whether or not you are what he called you, they are probably talking about the fact that he must be insane for writing those things in public.
So as hard as it may be, just try to ignore him. He probably does that only to get to you, so don't let him get away with it!
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Old 05-16-2011, 12:24 PM
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Originally Posted by lapinturabella View Post
a little boy with a bruised ego throwing a major temper tantrum.
bingo!
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Old 05-16-2011, 05:20 PM
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Part of being codenpendent is carrying other peoples embarrassment for them.

I used to do it all the time with my AH.

It was not until I left him that I realized I had done nothing wrong, so I had no reason to be "embarrassed."

I had no reason to carry shame.

I did not do anything.

He did it.

He carries any shame/blame/embarrassment to be had although we both know he never will.

Don't let him control you/your emotions for another minute.

When you react with embarrassment, he has control of you/your feelings. This is a part of their manipulation.

He only has the power you give him. Take it back. He's not worth all the energy you are putting into being ashamed.

Talk to yourself: Show him who rules your roost. Let him know it ain't him. Water off a ducks back. I am moving on. Cry your cry. Act your stupid, buddy. I could care less.
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