I am in the exact same boat as you. Married 23 years and mine does the stop and start thing too. I am finally done and still living with him because our house is on the market. He does not understand because he feels that he can stop for periods at a time. He thinks I am being totally unreasonable and throwing our great life together away. You see, in his eyes he provides finacially and always has (very hard worker) and can stop drinking for a month or so at a time. He thinks that he is fine and can control it. I see it completely different and I am ready to move on. I have had enough of the rollercoaster ride and am getting off.
Hugs to you and keep posting. It really does help and if not for the people on this board, I do not know how I would have make it through all this.