Originally Posted by
BHF 
Today, I am not as social and outgoing as I was while actively drinking. Alcohol lowers the inhibitions and makes it easier to mingle, even if much of the time, I was making a fool of myself while doing so. In a way, I believe that very reason has alot to do with why I am hesistant/scared to socialize today.
I don't like the unknown, and I sure dont like the possibility that you (or anyone) may know about some of the embarrasing things that I did while actively drinking. Heck, I find myself even concerned that complete strangers that I meet may know that I'm an alcoholic. I have created a past that is difficult for me to live down, even though, realistically, I know that no one else is anywhere near as concerned about my former failings as I am.
I know what you mean about being concerned that complete strangers may know you are an alcoholic. I have the same paranoia in this regard. It's like who know's who this person has talked to about me and what someone has said about my behaviour while being completely lost in an alcohol haze.