Missy, I love your insight about people's posts being one moment in time, essentially, and not all that relevant after the fact about what's happening in their lives currently. The present is all we have and, you are correct, reading someone's past postings is really dwelling on the past, in a way. I love how you're using the forum as sort of a sounding board...I think it's helpful to a lot of other people.
I really feel for you because, as a single gal at the moment, it's hard for me to imagine doing this while trying to maintain a relationship with a partner who drinks and, even more so, actively encourages me to drink. I know lots of people do it successfully...and you can, too. But I do admire your courage for trying when there is someone else to take into consideration. For me...I make a decision, and I don't have anyone I need to bounce it off of, take their opinion into account, etc. So I think in a way it's easier for me (although, I also don't have a SO there for support, either).
Anyway, just wanted to say hang in there. You are showing a lot of strength of character by being here...it's clear that you really want to stop drinking, and eventually all this is going to stick. It took me numerous "Day i's," but now I'm on Day 57 and feeling great so far. Whatever you do, don't stop trying. Sending good vibes your way.