ii. Meaningless Update
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Portland
Posts: 1,631
ii. Meaningless Update
Hi. I'm on day ii. I've decided not to use real counting numbers until I reach v. At that point I will switch to Arabic numerals and feel as though I've reached a level of sobriety. This is like the introduction to a text, you know, where the table of contents is Roman and the pages are Arabic?
I'm somewhat depressed today. Unsure how to face it all. But I guess I will strap on the seatbelt, head down the road, and the day will unfold. I'll get through it.
Hope everyone out there in newcomer land is happy and kind to one another.
I'm somewhat depressed today. Unsure how to face it all. But I guess I will strap on the seatbelt, head down the road, and the day will unfold. I'll get through it.
Hope everyone out there in newcomer land is happy and kind to one another.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 112
Missy,
I have read a lot of your recent posts, and if nothing changes nothing changes. I don't want this to come across as negative, but altering the way you count days or what you drink at the bar (where you have gone before to get drunk) has never worked for me or any others that I know. I just hope that you find what you need to make true changes on your path to recovery. I was always told by my fellow alcoholics and my father who has been sober for many years, that when I was looking in the mirror I was looking at the problem and that until I changed my outlook and attitude in life my problem would always remain. Best of luck.
I have read a lot of your recent posts, and if nothing changes nothing changes. I don't want this to come across as negative, but altering the way you count days or what you drink at the bar (where you have gone before to get drunk) has never worked for me or any others that I know. I just hope that you find what you need to make true changes on your path to recovery. I was always told by my fellow alcoholics and my father who has been sober for many years, that when I was looking in the mirror I was looking at the problem and that until I changed my outlook and attitude in life my problem would always remain. Best of luck.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Hey Missy - here's to day ii
Put one foot in front of the other and keep going, like you said. The work you put in today will pay off and you'll feel even better tomorrow.
When I get depressed/negative, I make myself think of things to be grateful for. It really does help.
Put one foot in front of the other and keep going, like you said. The work you put in today will pay off and you'll feel even better tomorrow. When I get depressed/negative, I make myself think of things to be grateful for. It really does help.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
the aftermath of drinking along with stress can leave you feeling worn out and tired. you seem to have been fighting yourself all weekend. (jmo).
I just write my sobertime down on the physical kitchen calendar every month and add....and stop in on the gratitude threads almost every day, that really helps me.
I just write my sobertime down on the physical kitchen calendar every month and add....and stop in on the gratitude threads almost every day, that really helps me.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I've notice a member ? has this for their signature line...
"Don't count the days...make the days count"
Yes...you too can win over alcohol...forward is the correct direction.....
"Don't count the days...make the days count"
Yes...you too can win over alcohol...forward is the correct direction.....
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 65
Hey Missy,
I havent posted here in a few days and came back to make a post. But saw your thread first. So, before I even post my own little update to everyone I thought I'd reply to yours.
If you remember me, we both started our original "Day 1" this past Thursday. Well, I myself slipped up also. Made it through Thursday fine, went out to dinner on friday and had 3 drinks. Started over on Saturday. Now I'm on day 3. We all slip up.
I read through a few of your posts from the weekend. You said something that I personally could not only relate to, but also feel the same about (not sure if others would agree but this is about how WE feel individually). You mentioned something to the effect that even though you have had a few times (days,etc) of being sober and then succomed to having a drink, if you were trying to be positive, your looking at it like your making progress. Although not stopping cold turkey, you may be "slipping" but overall your not drinking everyday. And therefore headed in the right direction.
I only mention this so you arent so hard on yourself. Take the small victories away from this. Yes the goal is everyday, one day at a time, no doubt. I look at myself and, although im very unhappy i drank on friday, I'm trying to say to myself at this point "ok, well you although your on day 3 now, you havent drank 4 out of the last 5 days and thats a huge step"
That ideology wont agree with everyone, probably most lol. But it is how im staying positive right now and just thinking about working on Day 3.
Just keep it up. Although you feel "depressed" as you said, dont look back, look ahead, and right now is DAY II!
Jay
I havent posted here in a few days and came back to make a post. But saw your thread first. So, before I even post my own little update to everyone I thought I'd reply to yours.
If you remember me, we both started our original "Day 1" this past Thursday. Well, I myself slipped up also. Made it through Thursday fine, went out to dinner on friday and had 3 drinks. Started over on Saturday. Now I'm on day 3. We all slip up.
I read through a few of your posts from the weekend. You said something that I personally could not only relate to, but also feel the same about (not sure if others would agree but this is about how WE feel individually). You mentioned something to the effect that even though you have had a few times (days,etc) of being sober and then succomed to having a drink, if you were trying to be positive, your looking at it like your making progress. Although not stopping cold turkey, you may be "slipping" but overall your not drinking everyday. And therefore headed in the right direction.
I only mention this so you arent so hard on yourself. Take the small victories away from this. Yes the goal is everyday, one day at a time, no doubt. I look at myself and, although im very unhappy i drank on friday, I'm trying to say to myself at this point "ok, well you although your on day 3 now, you havent drank 4 out of the last 5 days and thats a huge step"
That ideology wont agree with everyone, probably most lol. But it is how im staying positive right now and just thinking about working on Day 3.
Just keep it up. Although you feel "depressed" as you said, dont look back, look ahead, and right now is DAY II
!Jay
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: somewhere, tx
Posts: 128
Congrats on Day ii!
Isn't it amazing how we count the minutes/hours/days of sober time but while using, we lost track of months and years?
Count 'em any way you want to; each day clean n sober is sooo much better than a day spent in a fog.
Best of everything to you!
Count 'em any way you want to; each day clean n sober is sooo much better than a day spent in a fog.
Best of everything to you!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: South Dakota
Posts: 1,061
Originally Posted by opmloser 
Isn't it amazing how we count the minutes/hours/days of sober time but while using, we lost track of months and years?
Count 'em any way you want to; each day clean n sober is sooo much better than a day spent in a fog.
Best of everything to you!
Count 'em any way you want to; each day clean n sober is sooo much better than a day spent in a fog.
Best of everything to you!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 275
I've been sober for months and months w-one slip.. but have no idea the exact count. I'm not an AA-er so I don't see the significance of counting days. I'm sober today, I was yesterday and plan to be tomorrow 
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Portland
Posts: 1,631
Don't panic guys. I'm just holding MYSELF accountable in a new way. I will not consider that I have earned days until five as if in the introduction to a book. Then I will use regular numbers starting with 6. I'll get there too. I feel that will be a shift.
I only shared that this morning because, in my own accountability plan, I wanted to post. I needed something to say. I'm not hung up on it or even very interested. It's just a new way to approach what I hope will be an important moment for me.
I don't even know how to read other people's posts of the past few days. I sort of like the idea of posts being read for a while then going away. And I have to say, I would rather not read a person's past posts. We share what we are up to...in my one trip to an AA meeting, that seemed the drill. Wasn't it? I think one facet of AA is the blank slate thing...isn't it? yesterday doesn't matter?
And WorkingtheDay I do remember you and responded to your restart post. Hang in there. I'm betting that each trip back here gets longer once you get the first few shocks of life changing straightened out.
I only shared that this morning because, in my own accountability plan, I wanted to post. I needed something to say. I'm not hung up on it or even very interested. It's just a new way to approach what I hope will be an important moment for me.
I don't even know how to read other people's posts of the past few days. I sort of like the idea of posts being read for a while then going away. And I have to say, I would rather not read a person's past posts. We share what we are up to...in my one trip to an AA meeting, that seemed the drill. Wasn't it? I think one facet of AA is the blank slate thing...isn't it? yesterday doesn't matter?
And WorkingtheDay I do remember you and responded to your restart post. Hang in there. I'm betting that each trip back here gets longer once you get the first few shocks of life changing straightened out.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: California
Posts: 499
When I first started, December 2010, I would mark off each day that I didn't drink, with a big X. For some reason it was important to me to make that physical mark.
Before the month was over..I had stopped marking the days.
Every once in a while I figure out how many months it's been, amazing myself.
Some day, I'll be calculating how many years it's been.
Currently, I'm still learning how to live sober.
Anyways, don't stop stopping til you do.
Before the month was over..I had stopped marking the days.
Every once in a while I figure out how many months it's been, amazing myself.
Some day, I'll be calculating how many years it's been.
Currently, I'm still learning how to live sober.
Anyways, don't stop stopping til you do.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,826
I'm grateful you got me thinking about Woolf again. You've got me thinking about Between the Acts--all the layers of meaning and how it all ends up in a mirror.
I'm thinking about how my getting sober is all about my entrenched ideas and habits and meaning....
HAPPY ii DAY!
I'm thinking about how my getting sober is all about my entrenched ideas and habits and meaning....
HAPPY ii DAY!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 65
Missy, I love your insight about people's posts being one moment in time, essentially, and not all that relevant after the fact about what's happening in their lives currently. The present is all we have and, you are correct, reading someone's past postings is really dwelling on the past, in a way. I love how you're using the forum as sort of a sounding board...I think it's helpful to a lot of other people.
I really feel for you because, as a single gal at the moment, it's hard for me to imagine doing this while trying to maintain a relationship with a partner who drinks and, even more so, actively encourages me to drink. I know lots of people do it successfully...and you can, too. But I do admire your courage for trying when there is someone else to take into consideration. For me...I make a decision, and I don't have anyone I need to bounce it off of, take their opinion into account, etc. So I think in a way it's easier for me (although, I also don't have a SO there for support, either).
Anyway, just wanted to say hang in there. You are showing a lot of strength of character by being here...it's clear that you really want to stop drinking, and eventually all this is going to stick. It took me numerous "Day i's," but now I'm on Day 57 and feeling great so far. Whatever you do, don't stop trying. Sending good vibes your way.
I really feel for you because, as a single gal at the moment, it's hard for me to imagine doing this while trying to maintain a relationship with a partner who drinks and, even more so, actively encourages me to drink. I know lots of people do it successfully...and you can, too. But I do admire your courage for trying when there is someone else to take into consideration. For me...I make a decision, and I don't have anyone I need to bounce it off of, take their opinion into account, etc. So I think in a way it's easier for me (although, I also don't have a SO there for support, either).
Anyway, just wanted to say hang in there. You are showing a lot of strength of character by being here...it's clear that you really want to stop drinking, and eventually all this is going to stick. It took me numerous "Day i's," but now I'm on Day 57 and feeling great so far. Whatever you do, don't stop trying. Sending good vibes your way.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Portland
Posts: 1,631
I'm through most of the day and feeling great. Phil is a little cranky though he claims he isn't. But we've just come back from the grocery store so we've been busy and now I think we'll watch some Pillars of the Earth.
SR has been so important to me. Want to stop would have only been fleeting if not for SR. Let me clarify so I'm not misunderstood. In the past three years I have awakened at least two times a week aching with the desire to be better. Most weeks more like four times. But it has always gone away. SR has provided me with a place to share that desire with people who get it. And as a result I've had one 13 day sober spell, one five day spell, and numerous three day spells.
I have found people here who are capable to helping me see even what I might not want to, and some less capable, but I hope to keep feeling positive about SR so I have a safe place. So, with my own quirky personality, I've been a little worried about checking in today, but I'm glad I did.
Thank you all for being here and for caring.
SR has been so important to me. Want to stop would have only been fleeting if not for SR. Let me clarify so I'm not misunderstood. In the past three years I have awakened at least two times a week aching with the desire to be better. Most weeks more like four times. But it has always gone away. SR has provided me with a place to share that desire with people who get it. And as a result I've had one 13 day sober spell, one five day spell, and numerous three day spells.
I have found people here who are capable to helping me see even what I might not want to, and some less capable, but I hope to keep feeling positive about SR so I have a safe place. So, with my own quirky personality, I've been a little worried about checking in today, but I'm glad I did.
Thank you all for being here and for caring.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,126
I never was an AA'er until I absolutely knew I had to stay sober. I was clean for a few months before I entered the rooms. It wasn't the cravings that drove me there, it was the desire to find a way to live without drinking.
When I say live, I don't mean the quality of life thing, but the breathing thing.
I'm past seven months of clean time, and I don't count the days, but count months. I have been to, I don't know, more than a hundred meetings? I have yet to be to one that didn't help my sobriety.
And by sobriety, I don't mean not drinking, but gaining insight into how to chalk up another day of growing.
I did count days in the beginning. I went, gee, 60 days clean, so I must be OK now. The danger in that for me isn't growing complacent and thinking, OK, I can have a few beers, but rather, damn, 60 days and I still don't feel normal.
AA has helped me realize that I'm not normal, I'm an alcoholic and an addict, and that defines a lot more than someone who just drinks and relies on drugs to get through life.
For me, getting to day VI wouldn't have happened without finding a good AA group and going to meetings every day.
When I say live, I don't mean the quality of life thing, but the breathing thing.
I'm past seven months of clean time, and I don't count the days, but count months. I have been to, I don't know, more than a hundred meetings? I have yet to be to one that didn't help my sobriety.
And by sobriety, I don't mean not drinking, but gaining insight into how to chalk up another day of growing.
I did count days in the beginning. I went, gee, 60 days clean, so I must be OK now. The danger in that for me isn't growing complacent and thinking, OK, I can have a few beers, but rather, damn, 60 days and I still don't feel normal.
AA has helped me realize that I'm not normal, I'm an alcoholic and an addict, and that defines a lot more than someone who just drinks and relies on drugs to get through life.
For me, getting to day VI wouldn't have happened without finding a good AA group and going to meetings every day.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
I guess i will ask that famous question.....
what are you going to do differently this time to insure your sobriety?
for me, it was focusing on how I was improving my physical health by not drinking, changing up my evening routine completely and recognition of my triggers and trigger times....(3AM-7AM if insomnia hit me)....If i feel I might have a problem at a certain time, i use the 7 minute rule(I think it was Anna who wrote about it)?...cravings only last 7 minutes.....it usually works quite well.
good luck on day iii.
what are you going to do differently this time to insure your sobriety?
for me, it was focusing on how I was improving my physical health by not drinking, changing up my evening routine completely and recognition of my triggers and trigger times....(3AM-7AM if insomnia hit me)....If i feel I might have a problem at a certain time, i use the 7 minute rule(I think it was Anna who wrote about it)?...cravings only last 7 minutes.....it usually works quite well.
good luck on day iii.
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