Yeah, I have often felt like I wasted 3.5 yrs with my exabf but hey, I did get some things out of it. It's not like it was ALL bad.
He will for sure, if he doesn't get help for his drinking, keep finding shiny new toys (actually his "shiny new toy" is a broken down dilapidated OLD toy..his ex he keeps screwing around with and has known for 7 yrs), but he's still the same miserable SOD who drinks to kill whatever pain he refuses to face. Your ex's life will always be worse than yours, so long as he keeps refusing to get help.
Originally Posted by
Tuffgirl 
Completing the last of the dissolution paperwork tonight. Am ready to file and be done. This has been the longest 4 years of my life and I am horrified I put up with it for as long as I did. Can anyone recommend a good "memory erasing" specialist? I would kill for a complete removal of the last 4 years. For me and my daughters. Then I wouldn't have to write my amends to them for getting them involved in this to begin with. I should have known better, damnit.
Wondering what to price the engagement ring for on Craigslist? My wedding gown? What do I do with everything? Ebay?
Screw the whole first year thing. I have been waiting for a husband since the day we got married. Why wait a whole year on top of it all? How much longer do I have to wait to have a relationship where I feel trusted, wanted and valued?
I wasted 4 years. 4 YEARS! That I won't get back. Gone. And I have nothing to show for it. Except more wrinkles and gray hair. And anti-depressants. And confused teenage daughters who feel the sting of rejection by a man they trusted who violated that trust.
The saddest thing of all - I think he is relieved. Now he doesn't have to face his failure. Now he doesn't have to work to fix anything he broke. He can go find a shiny new toy. Shame is no toy stays shiny for long. Everything breaks eventually.
I prayed all weekend. Hard. Loudly. And I still hate him as much as I did the day I moved out. I can't help but think my HP is trying to tell me something. It's ok to be a quitter. Sometimes we have to quit something to allow something better to come along.