Well I'm in the same boat I left my A.B.F. I still love him and haven't yet completely let go. But I do not regret leaving him and getting out of the traumatic stress of it all, I love and still love the man with all my being. But I love myself and my son too much to have stayed. I finally realized that I could not fix him and for once in a long time I don't have to sit in dread of his drinking days... Now if he calls drunk, all I have to do is hang up, Only he has control over his life and his drinking, I don't, I can only control me and my actions... Oh he has begged me to come home and my reply to him come back to what??? Because I left him countless of times and would come back and the process would start all over again.. Finally I got a place of my own, yes at times I miss him, but I don't miss the Kaos & drama... Dealing with lonliness is much easier and its getting better, Peace of mind means everything. Hang in here with us, this board has been a "God Sent" To Me. Hugs.