Tuffgirl...you didn't "waste" 4 years. You loved and you loved well. Just cuz he's too screwed up to appreciate it does not lessen the value of your love. And...you found your true self. The strong, intelligent, beautiful, good, loving, wise woman your HP ALWAYS knew you are. You notice I didn't say "were" or "meant to be." I said ARE. Tuck that away into your very core and believe it! It's true.