Welcome. I am pretty new around here too. I would highly recommend alanon if you have not yet gone. Although my AH continues to drink I feel that I am handling me better with it. What will happen to our marriage in the long run I am not certain, but at least I feel I am on my way to finding some peace.
Like you I feel like I did not sign up for this either. I really hate where my marriage it at right now and I really wish my AH would wake up and get better, but as we know them finding sobriety or not is not our choice.