YES, I so understand what I am reading here. I wonder if I have a sort of post-traumatic stress disorder. I am working my steps and focusing on me. I have no interest whatsoever in getting involved in another relationship, so at least that part of codie-ness is not rearing its ugly head, as it has in the past.
I am ashamed that I lived with such an intense and extreme level of insanity for too long. I question my judgment and wonder how sick I must have become to put up with such nonsense. It is difficult at times for me to forgive myself for putting up with so much before I had enough.
I hope with hard work on my part, support from my Al-Anon groups, and advice here, I will eventually get over this. I don't discuss my husband's (or my own) crazy behaviors with non-alcoholics/non-codependents. They would not understand. It's good to be around others who know how I feel.