Hi Erin,
As you already know, you are in good company. Welcome to SoberRecovery. Recovery is what can be had for you if you desire it. I absolutely promise you that.
Living with an addict - the mistrust, the second-guessing, the fear, and the many others things that go with it - is a trauma really.
You are seeking some support and insight...I read one question.
Will you be able to get over this devastating conclusion to something that once was so beautiful and promising? In a word, Yes.
Will there always be a bit of a sadness, a longing, or a "one that got away" associated with your husband? Probably. Just please do not regret your decision. And really, try to not regret choosing him and marrying him in the first place.
You will find yourself in a quite different place one day, a wonderful place, and much of it will be because you were in that marriage.
Does that make any sense?
Peace, and welcome.