Same story here-after three years of stabs at recovery followed by relapses, it was time to put my interests, my life, my sanity first.
Every time there was a change in my life-in particular, returning to school, taking me out of his sphere of control, he would relapse. I was struggling with him, with our relationship, torn between my love for him, but losing my identity, my sanity and serenity in the process.
So, six weeks ago, after being called a quitter
(see the "I quit" thread-guess I am one, a proud one, not what he imagined) during another relapse, I pulled the plug. Went total no contact. It's not been easy but I knew I was ready to do it.
Having a lot of sad moments, tough times with memories of times past both good and bad, but I know it's for the best for both of us. He has the freedom to live his life as he sees fit and so do I.
Had several interesting emails from him, ranging from sad to mad, to plain angry and mean and I haven't responded to any to them. Had to contact him last week about an insurance matter-kept to the subject at hand and I won't repeat his reply except it involved four letter words. It's in the hands of the insurance office now.
All I can says is that you will know when it's time to move on. It's hard to explani, different for everyone, but you'll know.
Hugs coming to you from puppy dog and I.....
