The road can be windy and some days we put our head down and just look at the step behind the next, other days we can look up and see the expanse of where we have yet to go, and on those rare days, we can turn around and see the enormity of our success thus far.
You have come such a long way in such a short span, and to do so holding up your school work, raising a child, and keeping your sanity is no small trek indeed!!!
You have let him go so he can see that those "problems" he was so convinced you have are actually his own. It is what he needs if he is to ever find recovery from his addiction. You have done the very best you can for him and with that the best for you and your child. It takes great strength and courage. He may one day see that, but until then find solace in the fact that we see it and think it's amazing!
When life seems too big and overwhelming, I find it helpful to pick a small tangible task to complete and focus my energy there, even if it just a thorough vacuuming of a rug, or a good scrub of the tub. Lets my mind rest as I expend some energy and in the end I can step back see my result. I often feel more energized to move on to the next thing. Let the big stuff like finances go for a while.
Hang in there!
Alice