I hear you BHF. I've gone so far as to disassociate myself from virtually everyone that I used to drink/use with. If that doesn't speak volumes about how embarrassed I am of my actions while drunk, I don't know what does. Ironically, I was drinking to be more social and rid myself of anxiety. BUT, I needed to get those people out of my life anyway, so that much is good.
To the topic creator, I think virtually everyone deals with this anxiety when they get sober. I quit using right after I started a new job. I'm pretty sure my co-workers think I am an ***hole because I don't eat lunch with them, turn down their invitations to social events, etc. I often find myself wishing that they would just leave me the hell alone.
Things are getting better. Very slowly, but better nonetheless. One thing is for sure though, drinking or using again would put me back to square one.
Great avatar firewalkwithme, btw.