Today, I am not as social and outgoing as I was while actively drinking. Alcohol lowers the inhibitions and makes it easier to mingle, even if much of the time, I was making a fool of myself while doing so. In a way, I believe that very reason has alot to do with why I am hesistant/scared to socialize today.
I don't like the unknown, and I sure dont like the possibility that you (or anyone) may know about some of the embarrasing things that I did while actively drinking. Heck, I find myself even concerned that complete strangers that I meet may know that I'm an alcoholic. I have created a past that is difficult for me to live down, even though, realistically, I know that no one else is anywhere near as concerned about my former failings as I am.