Some people just don't want to recover. I do my best to stay out of these people's way, because they will only bring me down with them. Sending a cryptic text and then not answering your phone call is manipulation, plain and simple. That is not "working on things". He wanted to get inside your head, in a negative way, and he did.
If you agreed to work on things, and you're not comfortable with his efforts, you always have options.
Save that money for the kids... he's a big boy, he can take care of his own bills.
Glad you ditched the therapist! Have you tried Alanon?