Thank you everyone for your responses.
I think that this place will be somewhere I can turn to when most in need.
I have been very strong tonight. I decided to come home to him because I thought that he would have realised last night that I wasn't going to take any bulls**t from him and the way he is when he is using or drinking.
I was very wrong in that decision. I suppose I am glad that he was honest with me, he told me that he had been drinking when he first got home. I simply acted with no emotion. All I said was "thank you for being honest and telling me" and that was it. Was that the right thing to say?
I didn't want to get angry or upset, because I realise from reading all of your stories that it just doesn't do anything, it is wasted emotion and it is SO exhausting. So I just said that I didn't want to discuss it and that I had made the decision that I don't want to be around him when he is drinking or using. I said I would support him if he decided to get some help for himself but I would not stick around and let him pull me down with him.
Of course, he just tried to make me feel guilty and bad about doing that. I know that this is the manipulation that he is using against me. It is hard to not be affected.
I feel hurt, because I could never imagine doing this to anyone, let alone someone I love and care about so much, so I can't believe he is doing it to me.
I told him that from tomorrow night onwards I would be staying with my parents. The only thing is, I need to be strong enough to be able to stick to my word and do it.
That is where I think this forum will help me and I will be forever grateful.
To be strong, to not be co-dependent, to not enable and to detach.
This is not the life I ever imagined.
Thank you again, and thank you for reading.