Janner,
Besides wolves, it appears we have a few more things in common!
I realize that at times the harder I push the more pull I get and the harder I pull the more push I recieve. I hope that made sense :-) Go with the flow and do what you need to get done to maintain your sobriety with little push or pull - in other words, just do it and don't think about the opposite force so much.
Remember the addictive aspect of your personality is very cunning and always looking for ways to be fueled again.