(((Ulverston)))) I agree with Bikeguy--if you aren't willing to do that, please call Crisis Hotline--you can dial 211 in Toronto for the number--I know it seems like those feelings will never go away, but they will. It's just so hard to get through them and come out on the other side, where that dull ache is all that's left. You will, though. It's a natural process you are going through, painful as it is! Keep posting.