21CJ

Hi,

I am grateful for finding this forum.

My boyfriend is an alcoholic, and until 2 days ago had been sober (from alcohol, for 6 months).

My boyfriend is also addicted to speed. Although he is in denial about this, he merely says he is "using speed as a substitute to alcohol". And he admits he has a problem, but won't admit that he is addicted.

He went to rehab for his alcohol addiction and came back the person I fell in love with 6 years ago. However, pretty much a month out of rehab he started using speed "recreationally" which is absolute bull. He has been nonstop using for about 5 months now, sometimes to the point where he can't function without it. He is not the person I want to be around when he is using.

It is killing me. And I feel very stupid because I should have detached a long time ago, I should have picked up on the signs of addiction when he first started using speed. But I didn't and it has lead me to here. I need the support to be able to detach and focus on myself rather than day in/day out worry about him and what he is doing to himself.

I took the first step tonight and left him at home (I have come home to my parents house) because I didn't want to argue all night about it. I knew that he was likely to relapse with alcohol, but now my mind is going crazy because I can't stop worrying that he might do both now. It is so hard to not worry because I care about him and love him greatly.

Please help.