Oh wow-yes change your number if you can.
I am very up and down. I worked with my sponsor today 2.5 hours on the first step. Then i came home and had a mental breakdown. I have not stopped crying.
For some reason, it's like I can see the whole picture of what happened in the last few months, and it's hit me like a ton of bricks.
It's just hit me how manipulative and sociopathic my ex is/was. He's still with this ex, seeing her every weekend, and had presented it to me as nothing-no meaning whatsoever-and I know this is because, in the back of his devious mind, he thought he could keep his options open with me, and it feels so DISGUSTING to just see it for how it truly is, and to know I played my role in the whole thing. I feel sick. Truly sick. Everything he ever wrote me about love, and all those kind words-were meaningless. Just meaningless words to fool me into staying with him.
I can't beleive I wasted 3.5 yrs with this guy.
Originally Posted by
TakingCharge999 
Hi sandra!! no, thank God Alkie Ex has respected my request not to contact me again and I have not gone to the office. The least thing I need is to see or hear him. I can't stand him. Some days I am stronger though..
I got another ex after him but someone very very controlling, also a very good actor. But then on Sunday I met a friend and my therapist (my friend recommended this therapist) in an informal setting.
And I felt better but also uneasy.
Sometimes don't you feel some of your friends think you are sad and lonely and have not changed? I mean I guess I have given that impression but lately I have taken steps forward. Just because I don't contact her often does NOT mean I am at home crying!! SHEESH!! also she already has a baby so, I am trying to get friends my age now... I mean its nice and all but I feel older than I am sometimes... but she was saying I boycott myself and stay at home all the time and well, things I am aware of but am changing... anyway, something else I can't control.
I need friends that see who I am now.
Bottomline I am angry with myself as I treated ex well on Sat when he called then on Sun morning he called again in his usual controlling fashion and I got so tired of the whole drama. I realize how unfair that relation was. Sheesh.
I am thinking of changing my number. Unfortunately too broke to keep on with therapy right now!
Thanks for letting me vent here.
How are you doing? how is everyone else doing..?