SoloMio

"Sabotage" is the word I just used in another post, with regard to my AH who, years ago, sabotaged his job because he didn't like his boss (she was a strong woman who wouldn't put up with his cr*p). He was sober at the time, too.

So we had no health insurance for a few months and I wound up getting a job I hated, getting my four kids to their assorted day care/schools, etc. etc., just as you have outlined. He did wind up getting a commission-based job, which sucked, but it did provide him with skills to start his own business, and during the years he was sober he built it up into a very strong business, but when he relapsed it took a serious nosedive and plummeted him (and me) into serious debt.

I know what you mean about the life skills thing, but don't jump to the conclusion that that means he can't/won't get a job. Sometimes the two things are unrelated. While AH was able to patch together a seemingly unstable work life, it did wind up being his own business.... AND he is definitely the homefront slacker that you described (StarCat, my AH had the same attitude as your XABF with the laundry--esp when we lived in an apartment and had to go to the laundromat. He was "too good" for it, leaving me to hump all the laundry, hang around there on my day off, and lug it back home.).

All I can say is, definitely take care of yourself, as you have outlined. Especially since you're pregnant. I can relate to that, too, having been pregnant when AH was "out to lunch" as a provider and a spouse. I gained only 8 pounds with my son with the stress of having a dual-addicted husband who was coke-ing away our home at the time. Everything you have written is a great plan of attack for what do to (for yourself) and what NOT to do (for him). Stick to it!!

I see through your resentment that you want to support his recovery, recognizing that's it's a LONG road. You can ONLY walk that road with a lot of spiritual support for you, so make sure you do what you need to get that support.