I thought I was more okay than I am with the trial. With it looming, it's definitely a challenge. Seeing that my marriage is unhealthy and how that impacts my D's and I; that I am having an easier time letting go of than the what if's of this trial bc as much as I "shouldn't" think this-- all that is running in my mind right now is "what if he loses his job or has a criminal record bc of me".
I KNOW that's insane thinking and I am reminding myself of that frequently, but it's the feeling deep in me that's tearing me up right now.
Why did I EVER get involved and stay involved with him? Why didn't I leave when it would have been sooooo much simpler years ago?
The girls are just getting up so I'm going to busy and distracted today-- I hope!