Do his lies make me a liar too?
I am practically in tears because I typed out my whole story here and I think it took so long I was logged out when I tried to post it. Deep breaths.
I will post the whole story again when I have time, but the essence is that my husband of just over a year (2nd marriages, both of us) is an alcoholic. He has recently been caught/confessed to me that he has been drinking in secret.
I have known of his struggles with alcohol, and we have gone through periods of him quitting and other times when he would claim he could drink moderately. I myself can take it or leave it - I think it is festive to have a drink when out with friends, but rarely drink at home and truly could (and may) give it up any time.
I am crushed and devastated by the extent of the lies. I am worried that if the depth of his problem is revealed, he will lose his job (this would be the second one lost to alcohol use -- though the first time, it was chalked up to a bad divorce, distraction, etc). I worry we will lose our house if he is not working, and that his ex-wife will petition for custody of his kids, who I love, and who are with us 1/2 the time.
I feel isolated. I have told no one about his drinking. None of our friends suspect a thing, at least as far as I know. I think my parents would be judgmental.
He needs help, but will not go to re-hab as there is no way to explain it to work. I know that there are laws protecting him, but as a practical matter he would certainly lose his job.
I found this place and was so happy to see I'm not actually alone.
Kitty.