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05-05-2011, 09:55 AM

# 3 (permalink)

iliveforyou

MIND OF DESTRUCTIVE TASTE

Join Date: Mar 2011

Location: Chicago, IL

Posts: 744

Welcome to SR! Check out the friends and family forums - there are a LOT of others who have gone thru similiar things

There is nothing that you are going to be able to do for her. I am a recovery addict/alcoholic and NO ONE is going to be able to help her until she wants to truly help herself and find recovery...

Getting clean can be absolutely terrifying and I, too, had no clue how to live clean/sober. For 11 years, I did nothing but drown my mind in drugs/alcohol...I tried so desperately to run from myself...because the drugs and alcohol weren't the real problem - I was the problem. You can be supportive of her but just know that you didn't CAUSE this, you cannot CHANGE this and you cannot CURE this. She must be willing before any real change can be made. I have tried many times to get clean for others...every single time I failed miserably because I wasn't ready to put it down.

I, too, was an IV heroin and cocaine addict, living on the streets - homeless. Although I've been clean from it since 04 I've spent the last 7 years substituting one substance for another, the latest being hooked on opiate pain killers. It's very lonely road to travel and I hope she finds the inspiration and strength within herself to find recovery and make the changes necessary to live a clean life.

After being an addict for so long, we must learn how to deal with life in positive ways. Learning new coping skills and life skills. Many of us use because we are running from something deep within us...for me it was the demons of my past I never dealt with. Trying to mask something.."fix" my problems and in the end all I did was create many more problems.

I wish you luck and I am sorry you are in so much pain.

-Jess