I remember at one point while I was relapsing someone said something to me that planted a seed.
I'd relapsed while on a business trip-- which was becoming my signature move--and this friend, Barry, asked me why I drank that time. When I told him that I drank because I felt I could get away with it, he shook his head.
"What exactly are you getting away with?" he asked. "When it matters that you know you are drinking, you'll begin to understand how this works."
The comment floored me. Love myself enough to not want to hurt myself? It was incomprehensible.
JBC-- I know my story is a bit off the mark-- I, too, have been questioned about my sobriety and felt that initial surge of resentment. But if you're at all like me, you lied to those who love you constantly. And that takes a long time to go away, if it ever does.