Dear ConcernedNurse - I could have written your post. I am just a few weeks ahead of you on the curve. After five years, I said that my needs weren't being met in the relationship. It did hurt. It still does. But I needed to get out of his way - for the both of us.
My ex sounds exactly like yours - wants me and the drinking. He could be a wonderful partner but the alcohol can take them down fast. Don't have much else to add, other than I feel your pain. Completely.
Hugs to you.