[QUOTE=Buffalo66;2954242]BobbyJ,
Why was he chasing her? What does this imply? Was he drunk and playing with her, but didnt know she was scared, or was she a young adult and he was pursuing her? I just feel confused by what she was saying, need to clarify, if you can...
I asked her, do you mean playing chase? She said, Yes, but he never knew when to stop and most of the time he was drunk.
She said her real dad, chases/plays around too, but its different..
He became their stepdad when they were about 4 & 5. Last year when
my son & his friends were home, they all arm wrestling or body wrestle
each other. I always thought this was normal stuff dads did with their kids.
I never thought twice about it.
The part of.."HANDS ON WAIST" not normal. I do know that. I just found that out and am sick, sick, sick to my stomach...My own dad, never has put his arms around my waist...
SSIL75 my response to you:
I am afraid to ask her to much all in one day. This is the first time in 3 years
we have talked about it. She has kept the story, me and part of her life shut down over it..
I am afraid if I ask the wrong thing or say the wrong thing, she will shut
me out at the drop of a dime.
Yes, I wrote weird behaviors & verbal abuse in my previous post. But what she told me last night, was nothing compared to what was in my head when I wrote those words. Nothing. Last nights conversation, was a bomb. Completely not what I would ever expected her to feel or say. My definition of weird behaviors are nothing like she told me.
She told me, that she will share more with me later.
I am afraid, of what she has to say. As I have sat here today, cried
and vomited, I really dont want to hear no more. But I know it will
be part of her recovery and I will be there to support her all the way.
I am just sick, to think there is more to this story.
Damn it...
jds0401 My response to you:
About 2 years ago, we tried to talk, of course I QUESTIONED HER..She shut me down. Yesterday I listened...
Why did I listen this time?
Because I have been in a recovery program called Alanon & have just recently learned what alcoholics do and I have learned, that I became just as sick as he did. I have learned I cant fix the past of what I remembered or mis-remembered. I have learned to listen.....
I know last night was the big bomb, I really didnt expect this much on our first day back together. But like she said,,,there is more to come.
I hope God gives me enough strength to keep me upwards in this mess.
I just recently learned there is a big difference, in alcoholics compared to people who just have a few drinks...I am ashamed and sick to my stomach, that I never seen the difference until the year of 2011..
I will never shut her down with anything she has to say. I will always have a big heart and open ears. And yes, we will be going to counseling.
Trying to go thru a divorce with an alcoholic husband and the same week all of this........OMG