I know all of this has to be overwhelming right now and something you would like to sweep away. But, it's happened and your daughter has opened up to you and must trust and love you enough to work through this together. She has given you both the opportunity to work through this and to move forward in your lives. I'm sure it will be really scary to try and walk through, but once you do it, it will most likely bring you even closer.
I too believe we are given only what we can handle and the universe will give us what we need, when we need it. You can also lean on us to help you through the process. You are a good mom, you did the best that you could and will continue to do your best. Hopefully through counselling together, you can unload some of the luggage and feel better.