CN, when I finally left, I left for two reasons:
#1 and most importantly, my life had become unmanageable.
#2, I am powerless over alcohol. My husband needed to go on this journey by himself. I, too, left one of the dogs with him. And when I officially moved out into my own home (after crashing at Mom's for 4 months), I left him some furniture so he wouldn't be completely without items and it makes his house feel more cozy. I love him, he loves me, but right now we can not live together - we are not in the same place in life right now. I do believe now that giving him the gift of space and no expectations/pressure is one of the greatest gifts I could have given him.
The rest is up to him. In the meantime, I feel far more safe and grounded in my own home, managing my own life, embracing my own program and journey.
And right now we are slowly trying to spend time together again. Emphasis on the word "slowly"!
It's been 5 months. And I do feel a whole lot better today. There's still a lot I struggle with. But I feel much better.
Five months ago my boss told me I would feel this way once I had "reorganized my universe" and she is right.
And I took things one day at a time. A physical separation doesn't mean the end of anything, except living together. And that end can just be temporary. Even if, for me, "temporary" is 4 years or more! ; )