Perhaps you feel you can cure him...?
sandra I DID send an email, with all my hurts and real opinions
It felt good to share my views but it also sucked to realize he wouldn't give a damn anyway.
XABF response was "you should not have sent that letter"
And I was like "what about you shouldn't have DONE X or Y??"
By then I was already in SR and had read about the "the best defense is a good offense" and "attack the attacker" mechanisms of protection. It was an eye opener hearing him quacking. And I also realized I was entangled in a fantasy of him having a heart, memory, ability for introspection. THAT was hard to let go of..
I realized the guy I wanted to interact with was far gone. The guy next to me was someone else. OR maybe, he was no longer going to take anything from me, so he was able to show his real self as he didn't see payoff by acting nice. (Makes my stomach turn!)
I think if the guy was able to "get it" it would show some humanity and honesty and things wouldn't have been so horrible in the end. But he can't do that. He is not that person. I stopped trying to cure him.. I can't.
The only way to win is not to play... burning the letters helped me, I no longer want to convince or cure him anymore, he can believe whatever and do whatever, as long as its not with me, I am FINE
