sandrawg, so sorry you're hurting....
I have to agree with tjp613 100%!!! Know that you're not alone, your pain and feelings are understood.
One foot in front of the other, one day at a time, you can do this.
Good for you for writing the letter! For me, I get great satisfaction from writing and then releasing--usually burning it in the fireplace or backyard grill. Or, sometimes a shredder does the trick. Either way I get to express what I want to express and move on...and all the while not counting on a particular response from anyone else. That way I've created and strengthened a relationship with myself.
Hugs,
posie