Originally Posted by vaya

Maybe I have been in his fact too much about his using spice and obsessing on it. He says that's what he hates, my constant monitoring. when he goes in the bathroom for extended times I've been asking him to come out, thinking I could keep him from smoking the spice. Is this behavior co-dependent on my part?
He's blaming you which is easier than taking responsibility for himself.

Your reactions are 100% codependency.

In my efforts to help him calm down last night I think I only escalated his behavior. I was so sure I could reach him somehow.
Why oh why are you walking on eggshells in yur own home?
I do not let people who cannot control themselves in my house.


I should have just left and gone for a walk rather than engage with him. As long as I was there he would continue to rant on and hurt himself to try and get me to give him money.

this was the first week I held my ground about not giving him more than necessary for the bus. I hate being in this position of having to make him feel the consequences of his actions for spending all of his GR money in one week. I thought he would come around, but it just makes him angrier.


His choice to blow the GR money.Giving him a penny denies him the full consequences. He cannot learn from his own mistakes because you will not let him. So what if he's pissed. Bummer is a terrific response when he spews venom in your direction. An even better response is to establkish boundaries for behaviors within your own home. Then let go of the outcome. If he chooses to ignore the boundaries, it's bye-bye time. That 's the cause and effect of his choices.


I know it's getting harder for him and for me to be here if he keeps smoking spice and acting this way. I just wish something could be done, other than his leaving. I'm so afraid he will wind up staying with his heroin using friends and wind up using heroin again.