This may not seem like it relates, but I think it does so here goes.
There was this moment right before I separated from my XABF. His mood was unpredictable to say the least. Drunk daily. Spiraling madly in binges.
He had slowed down long enough one evening to sit on the computer while I was packing and at one point asked me what we would be doing about his money in my account (I had taken over all the finances). I calmly told him I could write him a check or give him cash when I could get to the bank. This led him to ask if our relationship was over (the mind boggles over the idiocy of such a question as that point). I didn't even take a breath and said "yeah" quietly and plainly. He snapped back "why" in classic denial.
My answer, without emotion, total acceptance, looked him right in the eye...."That's the way it is."
For the first time in all the rounds we had there was no wishy-washy room for debate. No apology after I told him something he didn't want to here. No minimizing to protect myself again his moods. No softening the blow or taking the burden of the reality for him. It was what it was and I had accepted it and in that moment I was free. He could do with the news what he wanted. I had already sat with it myself and I had let it go.
I think that was the first time in many years that he didn't roll his eyes when I spoke, but that's another musing all together.
Shell, Not to go balls to the wall with this, but there is no chance that your AW is suitable in her current state to watch your child for the summer. The longest she can hold it together on her best behavior is a week apparently and last I checked summer rages a little longer than a week. Well, in Maine it's two weeks, but you feel me.
Just extend the daycare and let it lie. Sit with it, accept the reality, and when she finds out say it's because that is what is right now. It's just what has to happen. No explanation as to why with her. She freakin' knows why and that's why she's miss domestic goddess today because she ran motherhood up the flagpole again last night and passed out watching a 2 year old.
Shell, forgive me I got a wedge up on that one, I'm sorry if I've offended.
It's your choice, your decision. I'm only trying to inspire.
I support you in this.
Hang in there!! You and the little crusher!!
In friendship,
Alice