I am sorry you are so upset with me. I am pretty sure I didn't ever judge or attack you and if you felt I did I wish you would have said something. I think I've given the benefit of the doubt and when I've been confused about something someone has said, I've asked them to clarify. Did you do that or did you just choose to be resentful about whatever it is I said that you've held on to for quite a while now and let stew in you?
[QUOTE=kittykitty;2951518]
You don't know most of our stories, and where we are in recovery.
You're absolutely right. That's what I said in this post. We don't know one another's stories which is why we ought to be a lot more cautious about judging. You're repeating what I already said/agreed/pointed out.
You keep repeating how others have judged you. And yet you do the same, but you justify it as defending yourself. Interesting.
You're entitled to your opinion just as I am entitled to mine. I am not judging and did not set out telling people what they did and did not do accurately. When people seek me out to tell me how much I bother them that's a little different than responding to accusations, no?
I was trying to help you. You're response was to pick my post apart and attack me. You even went as far as to judge the recovery of the man who told me 'some are sicker than others'. You can dish it out but you can't take it.
You sound really angry. And for what it's worth when I try to help someone I don't go around telling that person later that "I tried to help and you just ....". Isn't one of the al anon/aa lessons that we ought to look at our intentions. If you intent was to help then you probably shouldn't have looked for or expected a certain response and considering how angry you sound it seems to me you set yourself up by "helping" to get a good case of the resentments. I won't apologize for not taking your "help" as you wanted me to. If you offer help don't do it with the expectation that you will get the response you want. I learned that the hard way doing just that with my AH for years.
One of the first things I learned in Alanon was that I cannot control what others do, say, feel, or think. All I can control is how I react to what they do, say, feel, or think. Period. People in this world are going to be rude, **** me off, hurt my feelings (if I let them) but i'm a big girl, so I deal with it.
Really? Is this post to me, bubbling over with anger you dealing with it? I think some of the advice I was given about letting go related to my AH (who I have let of btw
) might be good for you to read over since I have no idea when you posted your help to me but I can sense in how you're writing that you have held a grudge for a while.
If some posters feel the need to be brutally honest with others, that is their choice. Some of us appreciate the honesty. I've seen on other threads now, where many posters are apprehensive in their responses, even going as far as being apologetic. It's like everyone is walking on eggshells around here now, because "someone got offended". And the "you hurt my feelings" threads continue... we get it.
Again, you have your opinion and I have mine and everyone else has theirs. We don't all have to see eye to eye. What you see as walking on egghshells may be people exercising manners. Not the worst thing. And boy, if I have THAT much power (I assume the "someone got offended" is referring to me?) to change the tone of a whole board then I can't wait to try out that power on my AH and change him overnight (said with tongue planted firmly in cheek). You give me too much credit. Based on some feedback I've gotten privately, it might be instead of eggshell walking that I said some things that should have been said a while ago (before I even appeared possibly) and maybe everyone (myself included) can learn something about the line between honesty and tough love and being out of line. Or you can just keep slamming me and being pissed off if that works for you.
I for one, will not apologize for sharing my experience, strength, and hope with others,
especially when they ask for it. It's not okay to get angry at the messenger just because you don't like the message.
If the messenger is a jerk, then ignore them.
Is that what you're doing here? Ignoring what bothers you? Maybe take your own advice? If you don't like what I said (and my post was MY sharing of MY experience and I won't apologize one bit for that) then don't read it. Pretty simple I think.
I think everyone should have the chance to take what they like and leave what they don't. That's what this forum is all about.
I thought the forum was about talking about ourselves and our experiences, not telling each other what to do? I must be mistaken. Or you are.
It does seem like you are blaming others on here for your unhappiness right now. I don't think that is fair,
but it's not my job to make you see my side of things.
But that won't stop you from trying will it?!
I hope you have received the satisfaction you were looking for when posting this.
??? I am fairly sure I said something about no one needs to read this-- I am just writing this for me.. venting, getting it out, thinking as I write... So maybe you're projecting?
I know from experience that when I was convinced of something, I would be relentless until someone agreed with me, someone please just say, "yes Kitty, you're right." Validation of my feelings from others used to mean everything to me.
Thank you for sharing that. I guess bc you did that that means that's what I am doing? Am I following your logic accurately? That's too bad that you did that. Sounds like a lot of energy wasted. I've wasted lots of energy myself doing lots of things I wish I hadn't but the above isn't one of them. Again, thanks for sharing your experience though.
I think it would be more appropriate KK if you have something to say that you just talk to me individually... unless of course you are looking for back up by posting it publicly?
Hope your own recovery is going well now that you have got me figured out.
