Old 04-28-2011, 10:36 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
blueblooms14
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: new state
Posts: 137
No, I don't tell anyone all of my boundaries because I don't necessarily know what all of them are. Also, sometimes they change as I change. Once I figure them out, the kicker is telling myself what they are- it's like I discover them rather than create them. Getting myself to know and internalize them is the tough part.

Once they're discovered and installed solidly, maybe even as I am installing them and pounding them in place... then I do tell someone who violates one, sort of as a confirmation of and for myself, and to just give notice of why I am doing what I am doing. For instance, "I'm going into the other room because I don't hang around to get yelled at or ridiculed." Another favorite- though rarely used- "I'm calling 911 now because I've told you to leave and you haven't."

I guess I announce the action more than the boundary. Usually, I'm so shaky when enforcing one, I have to get away, be alone for a while, because thus far, I am likely to have a shaking crying spell after a boundary attack, and I don't want to expose that.
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