Shell, I was a constant "snooper" as well. I agree that it is a codie thing to do, but for me it was more validating. EAch time I got closer to leaving, until I finally did. He still drinks and has a new enabler/codie to help him out. But I don't have to live it daily, and neither do my girls. I feel for them that their dad is this way, but there is nothing I can do about it except protect them from it.
Therefore, no judgement from me.
M