Hello Kindeyes. I am also the Mother of a meth addicted grown son, so I do feel where you are coming from & I've been in that situation many times before. I'm a slow-learner to put it mildly. You sound like a strong person in your recovery, so I'm betting on your survival here. As far as your son goes, always remember: where there is life, there is hope. But you are right that it is all out of our control. We can't do a thing about any of it. It's up to them to want something better for themselves & we can't make them want that. Just don't lose hope. We didn't see their addiction coming, so their recovery could come just as unexpectedly. ((((((((((((Understanding Hugs))))))))))))))