[QUOTE]
Originally Posted by
BobbyJ 
It seems we all hear different things when people write them.
There are a few people that write on here, that have the
gift of writing the perfect words...(and its surely not me)
Clearly me either!
I also think that since we are all here and have all been impacted in some way by others addiction and acted unhealthily in our own ways as well, that we must all have triggers and what one person says in a post might be a trigger for someone else and all that gets "seen" is that one part.
For me, breaking apart the bigger picture and all the details and seeing just isolated parts that suit one's point is something that my AH has done to me in conversations to manipulate and torment me for years. It is a HUGE trigger and I guess I ought to have realized that perhaps there are people who pull isolated things out of posts (like I am doing here) not bc they are ignoring the rest intentionally and maliciously (as AH does) but bc they are struck by and get focussed on one thing and that's all that gets addressed. While I think that there may have been some of the former behavior occurring with one person, I think that most of the time it's safe for me to assume that people's intentions are good.
I used to be sure of this (people's intentions were good) and give the benefit of the doubt with ease, but being married to my H has taken that away a bit and perhaps I need to to focus on being less cynical and suspicious at times...